Gugu Mofokeng

Helping ordinary people create extraordinary lives since 2011

Why You Self-Sabotage

Success Mindset

May 22, 2017

Self-sabotage serves as a defence mechanism that ‘protects’ you against the pain of unconsciously expected failure. In other words, your mind is protecting you from getting ‘hurt’ by doing what it thinks is best, which is to keep you within a safe comfort zone.

Consciously, you want that top job, the business, the weight loss, your soul mate or whatever your desire is, but your subconscious believes you should not or cannot. At some point in your life, your mind was conditioned to believe that whatever it is you’re trying to do is somehow bad for you and it wants to protect you from harm.

This results in a life struggle where you will find yourself consciously doing all you can to succeed while you unconsciously do all you can to ensure that you fail. Ironically, your mind works hard to protect you from the anticipated pain of failure, disappointment and regret but you end up living with the real pain of failure, disappointment and regret.

Self-sabotage tends to do well where there is of a lack of a healthy self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence & self-belief. A lack of knowledge about this phenomenon and unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s life – shifting the blame onto other people, events, circumstances and bad luck.

Another big player in this sinister game is the inability to manage our emotions correctly. When events, circumstances and people happen in our lives, we tend react in ways that hinder our progress and prevent us from reaching our goals and objectives.

The mind uses self-sabotage as a method of coping with situations it perceives as difficult or the high expectations of ourselves or others that we unconsciously feel we are not capable of reaching.

No matter what our reasons for self-sabotage are, it’s clear that if we don’t do something about it, we will continue to live a life full of the pain of disappointment, unmet expectations and unfulfilled potential.

Self-sabotage can reveal itself in many forms and different ways. Below is a list of just a few behaviours that we commonly use to sabotage our own successes when there’s an underlying conflict in our minds:

Fear of failure… Fear of success… Fear of change… Fear of disapproval of others…Excessive cautiousness …Inability to plan ahead…Inability to say “no” to others…Inability to consider the consequences of our actions…Inability to think carefully before making decisions…Inability to think flexibly about problems…. Inability to admit mistakes…Obsessive worrying…Unrealistic expectations…Self-condemnation…Constantly comparing yourself to others… Blindly accepting people’s advice without question… The habit of procrastination… The habit of perfectionism… Limiting beliefs, thoughts, emotions & attitudes.

For the scope of today’s article, I will limit myself to only listing these behaviours. In future posts, I will deal in detail with each behaviour and look at the roles they play in blocking our success.

Here are some typical thinking mistakes self-saboteurs commit daily:

“It won’t work”… “I can’t do this”… “I’m too busy right now”… “I’m just not ready yet… “I’m not qualified enough”… “I’m too young…too old” … “They won’t like me”… you get the point, right?

Are you familiar with some of the above? Each of these has its own set of consequences that manifest in a variety of ways in our lives. Some are very obvious, while others might be a little difficult to identify, in which case you need to help of a skilled professional to uncover your self-sabotage patterns, uproot these and install new empowering behaviours in your subconscious.

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