Gugu Mofokeng

Helping ordinary people create extraordinary lives since 2011

Self-Sabotage Exposed

Success Mindset

May 4, 2017

Have you ever wanted something so badly, for so long, tried so hard to get it, but always somehow messed it up when or just before you get it? Have you ever wondered why you or someone you know keep repeating the same patterns of destructive behaviour over and over and then keep getting the same undesired results?
  • You suddenly don’t ‘feel’ like attending that interview for your dream job, for no valid reason?
  • You ruin a good relationship and later regret why you did it, when it’s too late?
  • You’re always ill-prepared for crucial business meetings that you know would probably bag you that multi-million rand contract you’ve done so much to win?
  • You procrastinate making that all-important phone call that you know will turn things around for you?
  • You frequently call in ‘sick’, knowing it is bad for the promotion you’ve been eyeing, and still do it anyway.
  • In a fit of rage, you binge on all the forbidden foods you know will put the weight right back on that body you’ve worked so hard to get it to a size 10?

These are just a few examples of common self-sabotaging behaviours people use and there’s a biblical passage that beautifully sums up this strange phenomenon:

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do.”- Romans 7: 15

This topic is not a particularly easy one to write on. Even as I write this, I find myself having descended into the depths of who I am, being forced to acknowledge truth and challenged to do something about my own self-sabotaging behaviours that I still see manifesting in subtle ways. As uncomfortable as this is, I do know that it is only when we are willing to disregard our fears and look courageously within the mirror of our souls that we can expect any meaningful change that will lead us to the successes that we so eagerly desire.
Do you find that you repeatedly set goals, work hard to achieve them and then find yourself having made a stupid mistake that ruins it all, just at the point when it was so close that you could even smell your breakthrough? We end up living a life of perpetual regret about the things we did or didn’t do and wonder why we keep repeating the same old destructive patterns and getting the same results!
Essentially; self-sabotage is any unconscious destructive behaviour that manifests in your life — serving to push you away from your deepest wants and desires. Self-sabotage is any unconscious destructive behaviour, thought, emotion or action that holds you back from achieving the success you consciously want. No matter how badly you want a certain thing, you find yourself having done something that goes totally against that very thing you wanted with your whole life! It is an internal conflict that exists between your conscious desires and the unconscious operations of your mind that manifests in outward self-sabotage patterns.
We all have stories to tell about how we’ve sabotaged ourselves at some stage of our lives. Many people go through these self-sabotage cycles on a regular basis and consequently find themselves living below their potential. In life, I have learnt that a person is as strong as their greatest weakness.

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