Gugu Mofokeng

Helping ordinary people create extraordinary lives since 2011

How To Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Success Mindset

May 22, 2017

Self-sabotage is a very unproductive behaviour but the good thing is that all self-sabotaging behaviour comes from belief and, with the right tools and the help of a skilled NLP life coach, any belief can be changed.


All behaviour is learned and can be unlearned. The mind can be easily reprogrammed with new and empowering beliefs. The first and most important key to change any behaviour is awareness. Self-awareness always precedes meaningful change.


So, how do you create awareness?

Take some time aside to really look at your life

Is your life what you want it to be? What is it that you want? Many people haven’t really sat down and asked themselves life-changing questions. Many people think they do know but when I engage them, it becomes obvious that they aren’t really sure about what it is they want. Most of my clients don’t mince their words when telling me about what they don’t want in their lives, but when I ask them about what it is that they want, they can’t really tell me in clear terms.


Be brutally honest with yourself

Why are you not getting the results you want? What/who is your stumbling block? Why do you keep doing the things you do? Is it possible that you are your own worst enemy? If so, how? Can you identify your past behaviours that have contributed to the results you have today? Can you identify any patterns or cycles?


Many people avoid this step and it’s normal human behaviour. There’s always an underlying reason why you do (or don’t do) what you do. If you’re willing to be honest with yourself, you’ll learn why you sabotage yourself. There are two main reasons why people do the things they do in life – to avoid pain & to seek pleasure.


To illustrate this, let me ask you this question: Why do you wake up every morning to go to work, even when you don’t feel like it? People will give me various answers, but the highest would be – To avoid the pain of poverty and gain the pleasure of financial independence! If I turned it around and asked: Why will some people do anything to avoid working? Again there’ll be many answers, but the highest would be: To avoid the pain of work and gain the pleasure of living with no responsibilities.


Pinpoint your self-sabotaging behaviours, thoughts, feelings and actions that lead you down the path of self-sabotage.

You can never change what you do not acknowledge. Admit that you have a problem and then seek help. Don’t negate, deny your weaknesses or justify. Use the uncomfortable truth to bring yourself to a place of meaningful change. Where does your problem lie? Is it in your thinking patterns, your attitudes, your emotions or your actions?


It’s only through conscious self-awareness that you can begin to put a stop to these negative patterns of behaviour. Self-sabotaging people rarely look inwards and acknowledge themselves as the source of their own misery. They are experts in the blame game; always complaining about other people, life, circumstances, bad luck & all sorts of external factors, which really have nothing to do with the cause of their behaviour.

If you want to succeed and achieve extraordinary things in life, then you must learn to pay close attention to your behaviours and the excuses you make that prevent you from moving forward. Excuses have never prospered any soul.


How much have your self-sabotaging tendencies cost you so far in your career, business, relationships, health & marriage? All the power to change your life lies within you. You are the one who determines your destiny. Decide today that you will no longer allow yourself to fall prey to your self-sabotage patterns. You have the power – use it!

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