Tip #1- Treat The Process Of Change As An Experiment.
Just as you didn’t master the skill of driving in one day, change also doesn’t happen overnight – it happens over time. When you first learned to drive, you must have stalled the car more than once. However, you did not give up, or did you? You continued to perfect your act until you eventually mastered the process. It was somewhat of an experiment that succeeded in the end. The process of change is exactly the same. Treat it as an experiment and as a process that will take a little time and effort. You will not be victorious overnight, and you might end up losing a few battles. However, in the end, your persistence will pay off. You will win the battle over your self-sabotage patterns.
Tip #2 – Learn From Your Mistakes.
Take time at the end of the day to reflect on how you responded to events and circumstances and learn from these experiences by writing down how you will respond differently in the future.
Tip #3 – Focus On Solutions.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our own inadequacies and limitations that all we see are problems and setbacks. This mind-set only leads to further problems and setbacks. Instead, take time to consider possible solutions to the problems you are dealing with. Begin this by asking more effective questions that focus you on finding answers, rather than problems.
Tip #4 – Ask Better Questions.
Questions are keys to the locks that hold your problems in place. By asking better and more effective questions, you will be able to gain a different perspective about the situation you find yourself in. This will help you to become more aware of the self-sabotage patterns that are ruling your life. Ask yourself:
- What have I learned from this experience?
- What would I do differently; given another chance?
- What could the potential benefits be?
- How will changing my response allow me to get what I want?
Take time to do self-reflection. People who get ahead in life are the ones who courageously took the time to think and reflect upon their thoughts, feelings, decisions, behaviours and actions. These people learned from what worked or failed. They eventually adjusted their course by taking a different approach simply because they took the time to ask themselves important questions, reflect upon what they were doing and the consequences that were manifesting in their lives. Only through self-reflection will you gain the necessary insight, perspective and understanding to begin the process of your transformation.
Tip #5 – Seek Advice & Help From Others.
It’s important to seek help from skilled professionals and advice from people who have had practical experience dealing with what you’re going through. They’ve experienced the struggles you are likely to face as you try and move beyond your self-sabotage patterns. Therefore, they will most likely be able to give you great practical advice and suggestions that will help you move beyond the shackles of self-sabotage in quick succession.
Tip #6 – Make Plans In Advance.
We often struggle through life when we don’t know what to expect and have little to-no-idea how circumstances will unfold. However, when we begin to lay out solid future plans for how we will respond to situations, people, and circumstances, then that’s the moment we begin taking control and start moving forward with our lives with success.
While making plans, always take time to consider possible challenges and obstacles that you might face along this journey. Identify them, then consider how you will respond if they happen to cross your path. And even if you don’t deal with them effectively at the time, you will learn and adjust your approach the next time you are confronted with the same challenge.
Tip #7 – Think Bigger, Bolder & Positive.
Sometimes we get so caught up within our self-limiting patterns of behaviour because we tend to think in very negative and narrow-minded ways. If we continue holding onto negative thinking patterns, it only serves to ensure that we have a narrow focus and robs us the sight of the bigger picture. We must therefore cultivate the habit of thinking bigger, bolder & positively and to expand our understanding and perspective of our situation.
Tip #8 – Adjust Your Expectations.
Our expectations can sometimes highly motivate us, while at other times they can devastatingly demoralize us. We must always take time to keep our expectations in check to make sure that we are not aiming too high too quickly, otherwise disappointment will result and as a consequence we will fail to find the motivation to change our self-sabotage patterns.
It is good to set your expectations high, however at the same time you need to make sure that they are flexible. Take into account your circumstances, conditions and resources. Remember, that you didn’t master the driving process of in one take, it happened over time. It will be the same with your behaviour.
Tip #9 – Be Willing To Take More Risks.
Those who take more risks usually have less regrets than those who play it safe and fear uncertainty. The same is true when it comes to transforming your self-sabotaging behaviour. You need to take risks, you need to take a chance on yourself, and you need to finally snap out of old limiting behaviours that will haunt you for the rest of your life. There’s no better time to make changes than right now! And there’s no one better to start the change than YOURSELF! Don’t delay, start the process of change now.